Текст песни М.Веллер - Белочехи и мадьярская ножка от буржуйки
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С. БУНТМАН: Ну, вот наши слушатели очень серьезно это подтверждают, даже пишут одними большими буквами, что получается криком, что, господин Веллер, именно с белочехов начались боевые действия в России. Михаил Иосифович, я тебе клянусь, что это было в советских учебниках.
М. ВЕЛЛЕР: Ты знаешь, если пишут криком души, большими буквами, то, видимо, не сами придумали и, значит, действительно прочитали в учебниках. То есть я прошу прощения, я про того, кто большими буквами. Все остальным уважение, любовь, респект. Им, идиотам, говоришь, что 22 февраля 18-го года добровольческая армия вышла в ледяной поход, пробиваясь сквозь заслоны большевиков, и дошла до Екатеринодара, и не взяла его. И генерал Корнилов был убит, и там сложилось ядро белого движения. Они говорят: «Нет, в мае с мятежа белочехов». Вот это называется обездвижить мозг под наркозом. Czechoslovakia called all the Slavs in the Austro-Hungarian Empire. And all the prisoners who fell and who ran themselves Slavs of Austria-Hungary we called Czechoslovakia. And some of them have expressed their desire to fight in the ranks of the Russian army against the Austro-Hungarian Empire, because it has already reached the rumors that when Austria-Hungary will break because it will win the Entente, everyone will have an independent state, because the Austrians they could not stand, and etc. And then the revolution. They were asked to send them home. And to send them dumb, because through north and Arkhangelsk ... What if the Germans cut the railway? Through the south? Black Sea. And already there are English and French. How do they use them? We send them through the Far East, because another thing: friendship with Germany as it is necessary. We are Germany after the Brest peace constantly persecuted. Cast iron, steel, grain and so on. And you under this contract Brest Germany - not to give any prisoner to our enemies, the Allies. What do you mean? Mad? They'll take immediately, Peter capture, capture Moscow. A German army who hold something at the time? Therefore sent by distant Vladivostok. While they will reach to Vladivostok, no locomotives, all worth it. And here is the famous incident with the foot of the stoves. This phrase comes to mind old Sapper Vodicka of "The Good Soldier Schweik": "You do not know, brother Magyars." The fact that the Magyars just traveled from eastern Siberia to the west straight back to himself, and in the coffin seen all meet the Czechs. And since May is still quite cold, and all food should be on something in the freight car train, where they have burzhuechka that four nozhechkah. And one of the Magyars took nozhechku burzhuechki and hurled through the open door going towards the Czech echelon. And she got into her head one a Czech, a soldier who was traveling in the opposite direction. And counter-speed smashed his head. I must say that the Hungarians laughed terribly and waving fists, went to his side. Czechs poskripeli teeth. Hungarians have forgotten? What have invented the telegraph. Therefore, at the next halt to give the Czechs told telegrapher down the line, that's the Magyar echelon. And when the next train halt Magyar met with Czech, his people marked the full program. Even three or four prishibli Magyars. What despatch immediately reported to the center, saying that such an incident here. But Comrade Trotsky's head swell, because things brewing extremely steep and all through. And he gave a telegram, to disarm the hell of the Czechs under the responsibility of local commanders, up to execution, so that nothing was not there. They also each other will shoot! When this news was brought, this order to the Czechs, they said, "Well, thank you, because here we will strip unarmed and shot in the first pine your every guy who comes out of the woods. In you we surrender your weapons! "And they say, local garrisons halts that we ordered narkomvoenmura. They themselves would be shot for not obeying orders. At the Czechs say, "Would you like guys, we slap you now. Not a single trunk will not get. " But with this started, this idiocy so-called rebellion Czechs, who dreamed of one thing: to go to hell from this turmoil to his home. Leave it did not work right away, because they were first asked to bear a little guard duty in the state, which became the state of Kolchak. Then they asked for a little poohranyat Admiral Kolchak's gold reserves. Once they did, as I remember, only once asked to participate a little bit in the fighting in Siberia. But to have a civil war broke out, it was some amazing intellectual kurtosis.
S. Buntman: Well, that's our audience very seriously confirm this, even write some big letters, it turns out a cry that, Mr. Weller, it is with Czechs started fighting in Russia. Kadets, I swear to you that it was in Soviet textbooks.
M. Weller: You know, if you write a cry of the soul, in large letters, it does not seem to have thought up and then actually read in textbooks. I mean, I'm sorry, I'm talking about someone who in large letters. All the rest of the respect, love, respect. They are idiots, you say that on February 22 the 18-year volunteer army went into an ice trek, breaking through the barriers of the Bolsheviks, and reached Ekaterinodar, and not withdrawn. And General Kornilov was killed, and there formed the nucleus of the white movement. They say, "No, in May Czechs rebellion." This is called immobilize the brain under general anesthesia.
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